Tamika is the utter definition of an amazing caregiver. She is the oldest granddaughter in her family and was raised by her grandmother because her mother was a drug addict. At a young age, she started caregiving for her younger cousins and later in life, her grandmother and mother. It was a pattern that would continue throughout her life. But she had no idea how that road would twist and turn.
Her 30’s were a very difficult time. She and her husband tried for eight years to get pregnant, even going to a fertility physician. Tamika became pregnant, but the joy was short-lived as she lost the baby 35 weeks into the pregnancy. The umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby’s neck. She says, “Words cannot explain the hurt I felt when I lost my child. I did not know what God was trying to tell me.”
She started to see another fertility physician with no success. During this time, Tamika said her faith was tested, and she became angry with God. Finally, they decided to stop and think about adoption. Almost 2 1/2 years later, at age 36, she got pregnant again with a baby girl. Then she had a big surprise later that same year, as Tamika got pregnant again with triplets, two boys and a girl. She had four babies in one year, one in January and the triplets in November. However, the joy was tinged with pain as going from no children to four in one year caused a lot of stress. It was overwhelming, and she and her husband began to have marital problems. Her husband became so overwhelmed that he left when the triplets were still infants.
While he was gone, Tamika said she was sleepwalking through life. She explains, “I needed help, but I wasn’t good at asking for it. I knew I had to be strong just like my grandmother taught me. I was taught to never let anyone see you cry.” She soldiered through and went back to work in order to care for her family.
Her husband returned after almost a year, and they went to counseling and learned life lessons. Tamika says, “We learned that when two imperfect people come together, we cannot expect perfection. Marriage is like a plate. Through the years, you keep adding to the plate and when things happen, it breaks. Things in life fall everywhere. It becomes a mess. Then it’s up to us to glue the plate back together making it even stronger, so it can hold the same things as before plus more.”
Today they are much happier. They have four beautiful, healthy children, ages 5 and 4. They have learned to be thankful for even the smallest things. God has helped them overcome so many struggles. Tamika says, “We have learned to love each other as God loves us.”
Tamika says that God put others, especially an aunt, neighbor, and coach, in her life at an early age to reveal God’s love for her and show her a different way of life. She says, “They helped me see that God loves me. He is a healer. I learned that life will be better if I just keep God first.”
Tamika is still working full-time, but she is fully conscious of her life now and feels wonderful. She feels that God has prepared her to minister to others who may be going through similar situations. Just as others helped her envision a different life, so will she inspire others.
- Her true and constant faith.
- Her church and work communities.
- The book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson.
Psalm 27:14 Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; yea, wait for the Lord!
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things in Him who strengthens me.
God, you do give us the strength to soldier on when our lives feel impossible. You are a never-ending source of help. When we pass through these difficulties, we become stronger and more able to empathize with others who are struggling. Use us to minister to others in similar situations and show others Your peace and strength.